Table for One
I love to travel alone. I love the chance to retreat into myself, explore a new location not only in place, but in mind. To introspect. There’s nothing I don’t like about it.
Except that one thing. Eating.
Eating, that is, anywhere besides a fast food or casual style restaurant. As soon as you raise it up a notch, I have to say – as much as it goes against my independent nature to admit it – I automatically get uncomfortable.
I try to do it. I like to eat out, to try the local cuisine a little further than the sandwich shop on the corner. But there’s just something about sitting there alone that I dislike immensely.
First of all, you know the table is meant for more than one. You watch as the wait staff cleans off the extra cutlery. You see them give you that look. The look that says: I could be getting tipped for two.
And maybe it’s just me – my heightened sense of discomfort – but I can often feel it in the service too, especially when the room around me is busy and that extra seat across the table feels all the more apparent. Wait staff are either really quick, hoping to shove me out the door as fast as possible, or crazy slow, not interested in wasting their energy on a single seat.
Worse than that are the stares, the people – tables of two, four, five – who give you that other look, that look of pity, as if you could find no one to share a simple meal with.
I’m sure I’m imagining it. When I’m eating with a group, I know I have better things to do than to silently judge the people sitting by themselves. But still, my trick, when this happens, is to take out my notebook – always handy on a trip – and to turn the tables, play the critic, looking around the restaurant with a critical eye, writing in my journal as if I’m taking notes. I don’t know if it works – if the staff really thinks I’m there to write a review – but at least it keeps me busy.
Which means, I don’t have time to look around, wondering if everyone’s staring at me.
Photo: Table on the beach (set for two) in Turks and Caicos - January 2008 – LV.
Posted by Lisa.
I have been in this same situation hundreds of times, from personal vacations to business travel. I finally figured out that at the best place to get good food (more upscale than the burgers or deli) was to eat at the bar. The bartenders don’t mind as they know they’ll get a good tip, and they tend to take care of the single women. I sometimes have come right out and asked if they would kind of keep an eye out for me as I was dining alone and they are always very kind.
But…I do totally relate to what you said. I remember once in in the islands eating room service and thinking, this is crazy.
I’ve done the room service thing too – but I agree, sitting in my room eating while all things interesting go on outside always seems a bit crazy. I’m definitely going to try the bar next time I find myself eating alone in a strange country – that’s a really good tip!